Colorado: The New Hotel California…

Looks like I’m getting some new neighbors today. There’s a big moving truck sitting out in front of the empty duplex across the street; more Californians judging by the plates on the two cars sitting in the driveway… Just what we needed…

It’s amazing how few people living in Colorado are from Colorado these days. There was a report I read a few days ago that stated that one quarter of the current population of Denver is either from California or drove though there to get here. The problem, in my opinion, is that they get home sick and thusly are trying to make Colorado more like California…

I’ve been to California many times and have seen the state from north to south. Now, granted, every time I go there it’s for a comic/art convention or I’m rescuing someone from a bad idea and I just don’t have a very good opinion of the place. It’s a dry, arid state full of dry, arid people who all live in little bubbles of self-importance; unknowing and uncaring about the world around them.

Southern California is known for its arrogant people, smog, water conservation, a collapsing tech industry, and overcrowding… I came back to Denver after being gone for 5 years to find it rife with arrogant people, smog, water conservation, a collapsing tech industry, and overcrowding…

Closer to home I was talking with a routine customer at the shop, a Vail police officer, about why I'm not riding my bike to work anymore; its just too damn dangerous these days. He told me that, according to their statistics, the vast majority of minor traffic infractions such as ignoring stop signs, failing to yield, and unsafe passing (basically that unknowing and uncaring thing again) comes from folks with out of state plates. The two most prevalent out-of-state folks up here are from California and Texas.

The Texans have their own brand of problems they bring with them, namely these trucks they drive that are about the size of a small house. I just can’t fathom why someone needs a Ford f-350, dually, long bed, 4 door, 4 wheel drive, 8 mile per gallon, needs two parking spaces to park monstrosity. You read about these folks that are pissed off because people drive SUVs? Well they need to look around and aim their ire at things that need it more like these Texas sized trucks. And Hummers; who thought those were a good idea?

Californians drive Hummer H2’s if they feel the desire to own something that has a prayer of getting them around during the winters up here. Last winter I pulled no less than four H2’s out of ditches and snow banks… In the winter I drive a hopped up 1972 Jeep Wagoneer with a 409ci V8, and I *still* get twice the MPG of an H2.

Then, in my opinion, there is a slightly longer standing problem which are all the beat to hell Toyota Celicas with a big, ill-fitting spoiler on the back, a bad attempt at ground effects and tires that are too narrow for the rims sticking 6 inches out from under the car. These guys deserve their own section of this rant simply because three times a year the trip to Denver goes from 2 hours to 5 hours because one of these rocket scientists tries to drive one of these 'cars', in the snow, over Vail pass, and ends up closing one or more lanes for a few hours.

Anyways, as you can see, it would be very easy for me to become horribly xenophobic but fortunately I’m pretty detached and just find it all very humorous. 🙂