Neighbors

Modern houses are a selection of interesting tradeoffs.

One is that ‘yards don’t make money’, so most houses are sized to be as close to the property lines as legally possible to increase the internal square footage as much as possible. This tends to leave the property with a ‘yard’ you can mow in less than five minutes with a weed eater – assuming there’s actually some grass out there somewhere.

Which for me is perfectly fine. If I leave the house it’s to leave the area, so I might actually notice the yard two or three times a year. And in that regard I find yard maintenance to be a total waste of time because the only person who cares is the lady with the yard stick who runs the HOA… So, I’m all for the ‘yard’ being little more than a strip of gravel between the walls and the fence.

The down-side to this is your neighbors are roughly twenty feet away.

Because of this you have to be a bit more conscientious of the proximity; if you decide to take a 7am Saturday morning call with your college buddy on the back steps, you will wake up your neighbors. If you loudly roll in at midnight on a weeknight from the party du jour, you will wake up your neighbors. Or if you let your little yap-dog out at 3am and it goes nuts at some shadow, you will wake up your neighbors.

If those sound really specific, it’s because I’m the neighbor who gets woken up.

I assume the reason for this is because my neighbors are ‘millennials’, and this means they were raised in a time where people have to be super self-centered and self-important because that’s the only way to have any self what so ever in the 1984-esque reality of the present. This also means that it’s almost impossible for them to comprehend that there are other people in the world when they do a thing.

“Generation Me” offsets this with virtue signaling… They are completely oblivious to the word in their immediate vicinity, but are 110% on issues that make them look good to their audience online.

Take my neighbor for example; she’s mentioned that she has some facebook group for saving the rainforest whales or something and is a self-ascribed ‘activist’, but in the real world she can’t be assed to separate her paper and plastic and uses an Escalade as a daily driver.

Just a small-scale version of the celebrities that fly private jets to exotic locations to discuss climate change I guess.