Sigh…

It's been a few days between updates here. With wrestling with Larry's PC laptop (pure fucking 6-hour-a-day hell) and being completely submerged in SQL and PHP coding I've barely had time to do anything outside of my appointed functions…

I'm sick to death of technology… Been doing this crap for far too long.

There's also the fact that I'm tired of being broke. Larry is a nice guy and all, but I'm once again doing heaps of work for the promise of “lots of money” later. Everyone seems to do that these days: Work your ass off now and make them rich and they *might* remember you later when they're driving around in their new Ferarri Enzo… Yep, that's happened to me: Not only did I make the company “go”, but I was a key component to selling the company and was listed as an asset in the paperwork. I got $60k, 'ol Sam made millions and had the gaul to show off his new Ferarri while I was driving a broke-ass Ford Taurus.

Same thing happened at a computer store I helped start: Matthew and I were limping these old broke-ass VW beetles around town while Mark bought a new 944 and a Landcruiser, and Alan went and paid cash for a 740il. When they each bought their second houses and Matthew and I were still scraping by in apartments and trailers is when I decided it was time to move on.

You know, if I stop and think about it I've made no less than a dozen millionaires in the last ten years…

Meanwhile I've got $5 and half a tank of gas in another broke-ass car.

I wish I knew what it was I'm doing wrong… Wait, I know what I'm doing wrong; I'm too nice and people these days prey on that. Even folks I know are subject to this…

It's ok though, it doesn't bother me and that I guess is the root of the issue. I'll just keep doing what I do and the world will just keep sucking me dry.

At least I'm predictable.

Maybe I should just snap and get it over with; be like everyone else – Look out for number one and fuck any one who gets in my way. There's a certain part of me that thinks that would be grand, but I keep him under pretty tight control.

Naw. That'd be tantamount to loosing in the bigger picture. Yes, it's easy to be rich if you're a complete ass; but you truly “win” the game if you can get to the other side of the board while improving the lives of those around you.

If you get out of this life while making just one other person's life a little easier, that's good. Of course you'll die under a viaduct in a cardboard box, but I guess the ends justify the means.

And with those cheery thoughts I think I'll head for bed so I can be up early and finish up the online store for Larry and make “lots of money”.

'night all…

The Alan Parsons ProjectAmmonia Avenue